I came in on a Pelican, not a stork. No, wait. I was a Cabbage Patch Kid. Scratch that. A homeless lady brought me into our family's house when I was two years old. I was actually found on a set of stairs when my parents bought a small store in Mexico City. Forget what everyone else told you, I was bought alongside an NES to appease my brothers because they'd be getting less attention. I used to own a green Batman toy with wings that I wished would widen but didn't. No wait, I owned an Octagon doll. I did, but I also had one of El Santo, and would bash them together because that's how things were done back then.
My early history is regurgitated to me so often I don't really know what happened before I was seven years old, other than I fell face-first onto the pointy end of chair when I was five, and that's only because I have the six stitches to prove it. Oh, and that I used to go to arcades. Or wait. I was left outside because I was too young. No, I was let in, but never got to play anything because I sucked at everything and was a waste of a quarter. Well, I did, but only when someone else quit, and I still sucked at everything and was a waste of a quarter.
But you want to hear about video games, right? I do have a vivid memory of playing Mega Man X pass-the-controller style, and a memory of breaking a Mega Man 7 cartridge by dropping it off a shelf I couldn't quite reach. I remember someone telling me one of my brothers filled an NES with Jell-O and sliced franks to see what it would like on-screen. My brothers also bought a Mortal Kombat cartridge which actually was a mislabeled Super Street Fighter II Turbo cartridge, which was better anyway. I played Tetris on the plane to America as an illegal immigrant. All I wanted to do when I was getting my papers was go back home and play Yoshi's Island. Or was it Yoshi's Story?
I saw footage of 9/11 during 4th grade and wondered what the big deal was while finishing up Pokemon Crystal, because the teachers sure as hell weren't paying attention to me right then. I spent most of 2002 playing Starcraft custom matches that were basically online tower defense. The 2004 election didn't concern me as much as finally getting my hands on a DS for the first time. When Obama won the 2008 election and made history, I immediately went back to Fallout 3.
I'm a pseudo-intellectual according to the people on Bitmob. I'm an immature jackass according to my friends. I have potential according to my teachers. I should stop playing so many games and so something important with my life according to my mother. I'm also very tired right now.
Also right now, I'm about to finish high school and eagerly anticipate earning my degree in Creative Writing or Journalism, or English, so that my worst case scenario is a job as an English teacher, which I wouldn't mind. I'm playing Persona 3: FES and Dante's Inferno instead of studying for finals. I should get around to that.
In the future, I'll probably keep writing about games, pro bono or… whatever the opposite of pro bono is. I want to diversify my interests and start watching movies and TV shows I should've watched a long time ago. I also want to keep solidifying my future, and hash out my history a little bit. Or wait — never mind.
And in case any of you were wondering, I don't have that Octagon doll anymore. But I totally used to.
