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Most gamers don't pay much attention to instruction manuals any more. Some of us do have a bit of nostalgia for these once-substantial inserts, but the truth is that some of these booklets were just awful. For your reading displeasure, I've collected a mixture of sub-par introductions from a variety of genres and systems. I've removed game titles or certain key bits of information to make the answers a little less obvious. Can you figure out which games I've included below? If you need some tips, head over to page two for the answer.
Note: The original authors bear all of the responsibility or blame for the writing below.
1) On a quiet serene evening the Cosmic Space Patrol sets out for the usual night cruise through the boulevards of space. This beat was always the same; calm, no action and no excitement. For some reason this night feels different. Shortly before 0200 hours some form of intergalactic material is sighted through the visual particle counter. The material is too large a mass to measure. It's drifting closer. Lookout, it's a giant _______ and it's headed straight for the Cosmic Spacecraft. The only chance for survival is to dodge the ____ or destroy it. Small ____ are equally as fatal as the large ones.
2) Leapin' _____ ! Home may look like it's only a hop, skip, and a jump away, but looks can be deceiving. First, there's a dangerous highway to hop across, full of cars and trucks. Then there's a swirling river to leap, full of ___-eating creatures. How's ____ going to get home safely? By letting you hop him on his way. Guide ___ safely through this perilous journey, and you'll jump for joy!
3) My name is _______ ________. On my homeworld of Hocotate, I am a well-known navigator of the stars. I use my faithful ship, the Dolphin, to carry small freight and deep-space minerals from planet to planet. It is a job of no small importance, and I take it seriously.
For a long time I had been working too hard, a tendency of mine, so I decided to take some time off by myself to recuperate. The night before I left, my wife prepared my faorite soup. This soup is a famous dish on m planet, made with three large onions and hundreds of miniature red, yellow, and blue carrots.
4) The ______ ________ are a group of adventurers who love nothing more than excitement and adventure. They've banded together in a search for a legendary sword, the one which is supposed to have saved the world in ancient times. One day, Han (one of the ______ ______) is walking in the forest when he comes across a sword stuck in the rocks. Han uses his incredible strength to pull the sword out.
Taking it back to the ______ _______ headquarters, Han shows it to his friends. Could this be the legendary sword?
5) You are _____ ______. Struck by a giant meteor, the world has been invaded by strange creatures from another planet. Burrowing deep within the earth's surface, the Planet of B.A.D. (Beastly Alien Dudes) seeks to take over the world. As a member of N.I.C.E (Nations of International Citizens for Earth), your mission is to defeat B.A.D. and bring peace back to the world.
6) Faced with the imminent destruction of their home world, a large-scale evacuation plan known as the Pioneer Project was established to find a new home planet. Unmanned probes sent into deep space discovered a habitable planet they dubbed Ragol and the first interstellar transport ship Pioneer 1 was sent to establish a colony. After confirming Ragol was suitable, the initial colonists began preparing the planet starting with construction of the central dome.
Exactly what happened on Ragol?
1) Asteroids, Atari 2600
2) Frogger, Intellivision
3) Pikmin, Gamecube
4) Guardian Heroes, Saturn
5) Keith Courage in Alpha Zones, TurboGrafx 16
6) Phantasy Star Online, Dreamcast
7) Final Fantasy Adventure, Gameboy
8) Blaster Master, NES
